How To Deal With Less Than Savoury People

 By Jameson Holman, LMFT

Stop me if you’ve heard this before but you have a project where you have to work with a person you’d rather avoid like the plague and you are trying desperately to invoke your best imitation of your sick voice to elude the impending stress that will inevitably derive from this terribly no good horribly bad idea??? Have no fear your secret is safe with me and I have just the remedy for that fake cough to help get you through this and come out even more awesome that you were before! 

1. Seek out the good – Sometimes when working with someone you don’t like it may seem like a challenge to find the good in them but trust me it’s there. When we ask ourselves the question of what is it that we like about this rather difficult human being we allow ourselves to be open to seeing the redeeming qualities in them that we already see in ourselves. This produces a “softening” effect that helps us get over some of the emotional debris that blocks us from accomplishing the goal. 

1. Put off the judgement – As tempting as it is to do what comes natural to us, judging the person really is a detriment to getting through the task at hand. The time we spend judging and working ourselves into a lather over perceived slights about who is or isn’t carrying their fair share of the load creates more emotional debris. That same time could be spent keeping the channels for inspiration to flow unrestricted instead. 

1. Redirect the challenge – If you are applying the first two tips into this other person then redirecting the challenge of working with them should be a much easier undertaking. Seeing them as a test of your ability to play well with others rather than a hinderance helps improve your ability to create the bandwidth necessary to have the patience for other things in your life. As long as you are alive and breathing you are automatically enrolled in the school of life complete with mid-terms and finals. Each one you pass prepares you for the next one which in turn becomes that much more bearable to endure. 

Ah yes I can already see you now basking in the sun after taking that victory lap of awesome because you conquered the unconquerable and got through the project not only without killing the other person but actually enjoying the process! No need to thank me I’m just your friendly neighbourhood therapist wishing you well until next time!

Cheers!