The Miseducation of Therapy

People have a tendency to have preconceived notions. It’s human nature. It’s also our way of pushing past the fear of the things we don’t understand to establish some sort of cognitive map that we can use to navigate uncharted territory. Sometimes for whatever reason we also collect and synthesis other’s preconceived notions into our own even on an unconscious level. We take what we think we know and fill in the missing puzzle pieces with makeshift pieces that we have conjured out of the things around us. What we end up with is not always the most accurate representation. One of these things is therapy. While the list is quiet extensive, here are three common misconceptions of therapy:

It’s a torture session of feels. One common misconception of therapy is the idea that it is only about forcing you to dredge the murky lake of intimate feels in order to blame you and shame you for your problems. Gross. Although emotions are certainly a part of the therapeutic process, therapy isn’t solely about trying to waterboard you into your feelings. Therapy done right will allow for feelings and emotions to be channeled in a safe space to help you overcome whatever is creating mental obstacles. While it is necessary at times to allow yourself to feel the feels and sit in it, the intention is never one with nefarious purposes. Feelings and emotions can be an ally in the therapeutic process to help us gain insight into the why of our current state of daily function.

It’s just for people with “serious” problems. Another common misconception of therapy is the belief that you have to be in a straight jacket in order to receive help. Far from it. People seek therapy for a myriad of reasons and while there are those who are in need of more intensive services than others, by no means is it an exclusive club for those wearing “members only” straight jackets. People from all walks of life dealing with all manner of situations come to therapy as means of getting a different perspective that is unbiased. For my fellow sports fans – therapy is like a better bat you get to help you with all the curve balls life throws at you when it’s bases loaded with two outs and you’ve already struck out twice. There is nothing wrong with wanting a better life and seeking the tools and resources to make it so.

It’s an admission of being weak. This one is probably the misconception I grew up with for the longest time. If you go to therapy you are admitting you aren’t made of stronger stuff. Rubbish. It’s quite the opposite actually. Recognizing the need to take action to improve yourself takes strength. Staying stuck in a rut for fear of being judged keeps you weak. Don’t be weak. I know again with the sports analogies but think about it, athletes condition themselves in the off-season to prevent injury during the regular season. If that doesn’t drive home the point try and think about it like this – you wouldn’t think it’s weak to get trained on how to dismantle a live bomb during a high crisis situation so why would you think it’s weak to get help with dismantling a mental bomb during a high crisis situation without therapy?

Cheers!

Your Friendly Neighborhood Therapist!

By Jameson Holman, LMFT