By Scott Parker, CSW
When falling in love, it is natural to think about your crush almost nonstop. At the early stages of courtship, our brains are trying to figure out if it is safe to open up to this person. Any sign they like you is thoroughly digested, as are those heart-stopping indications that things might not work out. All this adds up to one thing: hyper scrutiny. We stress over every text, every message, every punctuation mark.
While some preoccupation with the object of our infatuation is unavoidable and normal, there is one important distinction between healthy pining, and unhealthy obsession. It is important when reaching for a new potential source of happiness to not let go of existing ones. In other words, a mistake made by many new lovers is allowing their partner to become their only source of joy; other passion, interests, and relationships falling by the wayside.
Finding someone who makes you supremely happy is one of life’s greatest experiences. But when we put all our emotional eggs in one basket, not only do we risk a massive heart break, over time our ability to love with our full being will diminish–because we will be less whole. So if you find yourself in love this Valentine’s Day, that’s great! Just don’t forget to nurture your existing friendships and hobbies.