The following comes from John Gottman’s “Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.” He came up with a beautiful idea called the five magic hours. If you work to incorporate the following 5 hours of tasks into you week, your marriage will enhance.
1. Partings: When you leave home for the day, and every other time you part, make sure you kiss for at least 5 seconds and say goodbye. Communicate about what each other will be doing in your day. This should take about 15 minutes per week.
2. Reunions: You spend a lot of your day apart so take 15 minutes to reconnect. Once again, kiss for at least 5 seconds. Talk about your day. Share your experiences. Take turns listening. This takes about an hour and a half per week.
3. Admiration: You need you use your words here. Tell your spouse something you admire about them. Thank them for something they did today. Compliment them. Sometimes it is necessary to show how you feel with a gift. This takes around 5 minutes per day, 35 minutes per week.
4. Affection: Remember, you are not college roommates, hold, grab, touch, kiss, and hug each other often. This does not need to be sexual, just be physically close together more often. Make sure to kiss each other before going to sleep and actually go to sleep together. You should spend AT LEAST 5 minutes per day making 35 minutes per week.
5. Weekly Date: Take at least 2 hours every week to go on a date. This is non-negotiable. Most couples are not against this task, but just feel they can’t pull it off each week. Three things: First, make finding a local babysitter a serious endeavor and stop overusing you in-laws. Second, pick a set night of the week. Third make dating costs a part of your weekly budget.