Even the happiest families hit speed bumps along the way. Whether your family is experiencing major changes, experiencing a crisis, or things just feel off, you can find yourself wondering what has happened to our family? As your family grows and enters new stages of life, new expectations, and new life experiences in general, it can often be hard for family members to adjust and adapt. As these changes occur it is important for the family system to strengthen their communication skills and work together in the family unit. Change is part of life and is often something that adults and children are not comfortable with. Whether your family is overcoming a new transition or trying to adjust to the changing dynamics of your family system, seeking help from a therapist can help to create new ways of relating to each family member, strengthen communication skills, and learn better ways to work together so that your family can get back on track of enjoying each other through this thing called life!
Here are 5 quick tips on ways to strengthen your family!
Showing appreciation to someone increases self-esteem and makes the person feel valued and accepted. Appreciation creates a sense of belongingness which helps to build a strong bond and tells the person that you love them. Short, sincere comments can make a huge difference in improving one another’s moods and creating an atmosphere of love and kindness. Take time to point out the positive attributes that you see in each of your family members. Become comfortable in giving and receiving compliments. Appreciation motivates the person and makes them feel more enthusiastic about contributing to the family.
Your family needs quality time together in order to know and understand each other. Your family needs time where you can laugh, play and communicate with each other. If you are like most families and have a busy schedule, finding time to get everyone together can be hard, but don’t let that stop you. Get creative, make it a family rule that no matter what Monday night dinner is spent eating together as a family. Do family chores together allowing you to be together while doing family tasks. Play games together, plan birthday parties, go camping, or take a walk to the park together. These are all small things that make big differences in strengthening your family relationships.
Communication is key to successful relationships. The happiest families that I see, are the families that can openly discuss all issues in their lives. I have watched as family members have openly spoken about their greatest fears and sorrows, and they have been met with listening ears that desired to understand and love. I have also witnessed family members shut down or be told not to feel a certain way when they are trying to openly communicate with their families. The families that are able to communicate their worries, sorrows, and other grievances with each other are often stronger and visibly happier. They are able to work through conflict much more quickly. Be aware of your family’s specific needs during times of change or conflict and encourage your family to express what they are feeling rather than bottling it up. Through honest communication your family will learn to trust one another and will become an excellent support system for one another.
Family rituals, such as movie night or the annual Smith family turkey bowl, gives your family something to look forward to and helps bond your family together. Look for ways that your family can create special rituals of your own or take traditions that were special to you or your spouse as a child and implement them into your family. Sometimes these traditions will be created on accident, be flexible and let some traditions develop naturally. Traditions do not need to be serious, formal, or over the top events. Simple, inexpensive, humorous rituals are what children remember as adults. These traditions will be memories that your kids will talk about 20 years from now. Memories associated with joy and time spent with their family.
Families that set clear expectations for their children are happier. Make sure your children know and understand your family rules. Hold a family meeting and practice healthy communication by taking the time to explain your family rules and expectations. During the meeting give your children a chance to ask questions and express any concerns that they have. Work together to ensure that your family understands what is expected of each other and what it means to be a part of your family.
By Brandi Hess, AMFT