Our most important relationships touch on the most sensitive, vulnerable parts of ourselves. For this reason, when relating with our partner we often become caught in cycles of thinking, feeling, and communicating that we don’t fully understand. These cycles can work against our desire for connection and intimacy. This is when an objective, experienced counselor comes in handy to untangle those unhelpful habits. In our couples work, we move beyond blame to address the underlying disconnect so our clients can enjoy each other again.
One of the models that we use at our practice is called EFT (Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy). This approach focuses on finding the negative cycles that play out in relationships, then we can work to get down to the underlying emotions that drive the cycle. Pursuing and withdrawing are very common roles that couples get into and these are addressed as well. The ultimate goal of EFT is to help each partner be more aware of their needs and feelings and be able to reach out in a healthy way to ask for these needs to be met.