6 Principles for Becoming More Psychologically Flexible

By Susie Lee, AMFT

In his book The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living, Russ Harris describes a concept called “psychological flexibility”. When we are able to develop the mindset of being more psychologically flexible, it means we are able to more effectively take action in our own lives, handle painful thoughts and feelings, and increase the meaning and joy we find in life. In order to develop and maintain this mindset, Harris describes six core principles that are the basis of acceptance and commitment therapy (also known as ACT). Through these six principles, we are able to find a meaningful life, while still accepting that there will inevitably be pain and heartbreak that goes with it.

Principle 1 - Defusion:

With defusion, our focus is on our thoughts. We often hold on to, or fuse, with painful and unpleasant thoughts that cause us to get stuck in a certain mindset and are not workable for helping us move forward in life. Instead, we want to defuse from these thoughts so that they have much less influence over our behavior. We observe our thoughts and then choose which ones we want to focus on based on if they are helpful or not.

Principle 2 - Expansion or Acceptance:

We often suppress negative feelings and sensations rather than dealing with them as they come up. With expansion, we want to create space and time to deal with these negative emotions. In a sense, we’re purposefully making room for them so that they don’t demand that room later. This allows us to move one more rapidly, rather than having them continually bothering us and disturbing us.

Principle 3 - Connection:

The principle of connection ties into the popular idea behind meditation and mindfulness. The goal is to connect fully with what is going on in the present moment. This means being fully engaged and focused on the experience of the here and now. Instead of sitting in the past or worrying about the future, the focus is on getting the most out of the present moment.

Principle 4 - Observing Self:

There are two distinct elements to the “mind” as we know it. First, we have the thinking self and second, the observing self. The thinking self produces thoughts based on what’s going on around us, what’s been going on in our lives recently, and patterns of thinking we’ve created over time. The observing self, on the other hand, is the aspect of us that is aware of whatever the thinking self is doing. It’s the part of our mind that observes our thoughts and then makes comments on those thoughts to further expand our experience. We want to draw awareness to both parts of the mind and create a more positive pattern of thinking and observing.

Principle 5 - Values:

We all have core values that direct us and add meaning to our lives, however, sometimes we are not connected to these core values or fully aware of what they are. As we are able to clarify our values and really understand what’s most important to our hearts, our lives become more meaningful and rich. They can provide us with direction, motivation, and the desire to keep going when things get hard.

Principle 6 - Committed Action:

Committed action involves taking those values that are meaningful to us and acting on them so that our lives are in harmony with the deepest desires of our hearts. This happens through conscious decisions to do the things that move us closer to our values. We continually take actions that will lead us toward those values, even if we fail or get off track, we get back up and try again.

The six principles describes above can basically be broken down into practicing mindfulness (the first four principles), and taking action based on your values. As you practice this you’ll find that your level of psychological flexibility increases, adding meaning and openness to your experiences. Like most things in life, this type of therapy requires consistency and committed action, but the rewards for doing so can be transformative. If you’d like to learn more about these principles, pick up a copy of The Happiness Trap or make an appointment with a therapist to help you work through the process of each principle.

*All Concepts From the Book: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living -By Russ Harris